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January 16

Theater of The Mind

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America has fallen in love with Ted Williams, a terrifying homeless man with a deep voice. Those attributes taken separately don't get you an appearance on The Today Show. But this is a unique case - an opportunity to watch a drug addict choose between a mundane life with a regular paycheck or a swimming pool full of crack cocaine.

Matt Lauer seemed astonished a street beggar could be civilized enough to not hurl feces at his benefactors. Columbus's homeless are a cut above other cities I suppose - and talented too. For once it was nice to see my hometown in the news for something other than voting fraud.

But Lauer didn't offend the hobo-wunderkind. Quite the contrary - Lauer seduced him, as revealed on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

It remains to be seen if Williams can triumph over adversity, to be the unremarkable DJ we know he can be. We'll be keeping our eyes on his progress - wait - it's over.