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November 06

Singled Out

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Jenny McCarthy, Playboy's 1994 Playmate of The Year, Razzie Award winner, and amateur pathologist, has cured autism. Warding off the effects of an evil vaccination, a diet removed of wheat and dairy (with an assist by The Almighty) has stripped her six-year-old of any chance of competing in the maths and sciences and simultaneously stripped herself of any chance of getting a Frosted Shredded Wheat endorsement. Boyfriend Jim Carrey is no doubt thrilled that his talking-butt routine hasn't lost its magic but was simply ineffective against individuals with brain development disorders. Meanwhile, doctors have to deal with the McCarthy Effect, as the unvaccinated masses begin to spread a plague of measles, mumps, and dead babies.

This strip was inspired in part by Lily Tomlin in The Incredible Shrinking Woman, who fell onto her grocery cart, spilling just the right mixture of common household foods and cleaners, forming a hereto undiscover cocktail of chemicals which altered her molecules, causing her to shrink. The diagnostic and treatment process, as much as House, Foreman, Taub, 13, and Kutner might object, is not an exact science, and I applaud Miss McCarthy for her approach, if not her message, when all else had failed.