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January 31

Pwned Stars


Pawn Stars was successful enough to warrant a virtual pornutopia of imitation pawnbroker reality shows like Hardcore Pawn which advanced the porn-related wordplay. The next knockoffs will naturally be called Interracial Pawn, Consignment Sluts, and Gayday Loans. Naturally.

They made a big deal that Charlie Sheen spent $26,000 on hookers in two days. Sheen makes around $43.2 million a year. His $26,000 expenditure is comparable to $30 for someone who makes $50,000 a year. That's downright thrifty.

The Sheen Saga has been an epic display of excess and cocksmanship. He was stocking a mansion with whores and mountains of cocaine. He was hospitalized for laughing too hard. Rehab? This man is having the time of his life.