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April 01

Never Go Full Retard


We haven't had a president stick his foot in his mouth this bad for at least four months. And isn't that exactly the kind of joke Leno would tell?

Obama had the audacity to suggest contestants in Special Olympics are lower-scoring than their non-special counterparts. Of course, if there wasn't that distinction, you'd have guys in wheelchairs getting mowed down by Shaquille O'Neil - and basketball would be THE BEST SPORT EVER.

Since bowling consists of rolling a polished stone down a narrow lane, is this really the sport you want to hinge your argument on?. It's more of a sport than darts but somewhat less of a sport than hanging from a chin-up bar for twenty seconds. This is the sport where four-year-old girls luck-out and get strikes. You don't see these girls accidentally hitting three-pointers. If you did, basketball would be THE BEST SPORT EVER.

Could Barack have truly faced the conundrum presented in this comic? Where does a black man go when faced with an exception to his most holy stereotype? Kolan McConiughey, an amazing bowler from Ann Arbor, has the distinction of being both mentally handicapped and black, throwing the argument completely out the window. Of course, you could go with your third option: skip offending minorities and go straight to offending the 51% majority. Now, that's an executive decision - and an inoffensive wrap up truly worthy of Jay Leno.