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August 20

Donkey Punch

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Sucker Punch is a witch's brew of post-pubescent stimulation: robots, zombies, and schoolgirls. Ridiculously awesome action sequences are randomly strung together by an Inception-like premise, each dream level a descent into ever abstract planes of female empowerment. And by that, I mean Hollywood's idea of female empowerment: dressing them up as whores and having them "kick ass".

The main character, Emily Browning's Babydoll, appears so jailbait, with pigtails, knee-socks, and some kind of Donald Duck sailor outfit, they even bother to flash her driver's license, so we know it's okay to perv on her. To make matters worse (or better depending on how you look at it), Babydoll has magical erotic dance powers that hypnotize men and astral-project her into high-concept action scenes. She's like Professor X, if Professor X had the mutant power of giving really good lap dances.

The rest of the cast is all garters, fishnets, and lollypops. Except for Scott Glenn. He wears a tasteful g-string.

The movie was a bit of a flop. Apparently their target demo, i.e. smut-loving sleazeballs, were too embarrassed to buy a ticket. Except for me of course. What can I say? I'm a sucker for complex allegories of female exploitation in post-industrial America.