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December 31

Chuck Mortis

1 Comment

The Walking Dead is a mixed bag. On one hand, it has a great cast, and let's be honest, it's set in a zombie apocalypse which is really where all shows should be set (particularly Whitney). On the other hand, the writing is awful.

The characters, even the Asian guy, do really stupid things. Glenn, the aforementioned Asian guy, doesn't know what a pregnancy test is. Lori doesn't use the farmhouse bathroom to administer the pregnancy test, she pisses in the grass. The camera locks on her squatting as the music swells. It reminded me of one of those LOST slow-motion sequences, where everyone was smiling on the beach, and Hurley was eating nachos or whatever. No beach here though - just Lori, pants around her ankles, watering the tomatoes.

And another thing - self-reference, in any work of fiction, is surreal, "meta", even recursive. It works for Charlie Kaufman, but you can't have a Spider-man movie with Peter Parker saying, "Gee, this is just like in that Spider-man comic book." So, The Walking Dead exists in a world that has never had zombie-fiction. Other than Jesus, they've never heard of the living dead. They call them walkers. But Glenn makes a reference to Portal, a video game from a company called Valve. Valve also makes a game called Left 4 Dead, a zombie shoot-em-up. So, in this alternate realty, we know they never made 28 Days Later and Valve had a curious gap in their 2008 release schedule. It's like a bad episode of an episode of Sliders.

But the producers' worse sin is dragging their feet. They spent seven episodes tromping through the woods looking for Sophia. While this time could've been used to establish character background, they just keep talking about the same shit: we need to stay, we need to go, we need our guns. There are more important things to do with their time, like find out who starred in The Social Network, since Jesse Eisenberg, having no break-out role in Zombieland, was once again relegated to the movies Michael Cera turns down.