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Celebrity Skinned satirizes Movies, TV, and the latest Tabloid Scandals. New comics are posted about once a month.

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"Downton Julie Brown"

Featuring: Brendan Coyle, Hugh Bonneville, Jim Carter

November 27

Hammertime

1 Comment

The Star Wars movies, which ended in a definitive way, apparently didn't end, because new movies are on the way. The thematic symmetry George Lucas established, is going to look like a Gordon Gartrelle sweater. Maybe by Episode XXIV, the story of Anakin Skywalker will be mere prologue to the epic adventures of Hammerhead or Walrus Man or even the devil.

What makes something "Star Wars"? Lightsabers surely. Incest? Definitely. Spaceships, robots, and aliens? You can't really trademark that. The same 100 characters whose action figures have been gathering dust in dad's basement for thirty years (and no, they're not worth anything so stop asking)? Bingo. Something tells me Disney didn't shell out four billion dollars for the right to tell stories about random space-faring swashbucklers.

As an aside, on a cost-per-character basis, how much did Bib Fortuna go for? Maybe $40 million?

One of the fun things about Star Wars was the vast universe it presented. Where around every corner there was something even more bizarre. The prequels showed us that simply wasn't the case. Travel light years and there's Greedo as a kid. When they continue to exploit the characters we know and love the universe gets smaller and smaller.

So I hope you like an Alec-Guinness-aged Mark Hamill teaming with Chewbacca's son Lumpy and the guy who made Boba Fett's jetpack. They're coming soon to a galaxy near you.